As a seasoned dating coach, Devorah Kigel has gained the trust of hundreds of Jewish women in their pursuit of love and marriage. With her latest book, “Marry a Mensch: Timeless Jewish Wisdom for Today’s Single Woman,” Kigel shares her no-nonsense approach to weeding out the bad seeds, identifying what constitutes a “mensch,” and, ultimately, finding Mr. Right.
In her own experience, Kigel’s search for true love was met with disappointment and heartbreak. She even attempted to follow religious dating guidelines, but ultimately ended up marrying someone who didn’t spark any chemistry. It wasn’t until she met her husband at a Manhattan shul that she realized the value of waiting for the right connection.
Kigel’s approach is centered on defining one’s values, separating fantasy from reality, and identifying what can and cannot be tolerated. She also emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, leading with the head, and allowing the heart and hormones to follow. In other words, it’s crucial to know what one wants and needs before giving too much of oneself too soon.
Kigel’s strategies, outlined in her book, have led to a remarkable success rate, with nearly 90% of her clients ending up in a long-term relationship or marriage. She attributes this to her emphasis on maintaining hope, optimism, and faith, even in the face of rejection.
In her latest book, Kigel tackles the common pitfalls of dating, including dating unsuitable partners, giving up too easily, and developing unrealistic expectations. She cautions against the dangers of waiting for something better to come along or ignoring gut feelings that something is off.
Through her book, Kigel offers a refreshing perspective on the dating world, one that prioritizes self-awareness, self-love, and the importance of finding a partner who respects and values one’s foundation principles. Her analogies are relatable, and her writing style is approachable, making the book a breeze to read and digest.
Ultimately, Kigel’s message is one of hope and resilience, encouraging women to stay positive, persistent, and open to the possibility of finding true love. As she so aptly puts it, “You only need one. If a man can’t see you as a high-value woman and respect your boundaries, goodbye.”
