The State of the Union was last night, which is basically the Super Bowl for people obsessed with the news.
Because my timeline is full of nerds crackin’ jokes, I’ve compiled some of the best ones. Enjoy.
1.
Deleting Hinge…. again. https://t.co/83xGlhzwVi
— FGvW (@FatGirlvsWorld) March 8, 2024
CSPAN/Twitter: @FatGirlvsWorld
2.
It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem. It’s me. pic.twitter.com/PbiV6Mnaoh
— Melissa Murray (@ProfMMurray on Threads 🧵) (@ProfMMurray) March 8, 2024
MSNBC/Twitter: @ProfMMurray
3.
me texting “lol that is so funny” https://t.co/aX2u81rPML
— Adam Smith (@asmith83) March 8, 2024
CSPAN/Twitter: @asmith83
4.
Pretty sure this is one of the Lollipop Kids https://t.co/99yeX23SMp
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @pourmecoffee
5.
My toddler when he sees a dog he’s never seen before pic.twitter.com/fLtthbp53p
— Matt Margolis (@ItsMattsLaw) March 8, 2024
CNN/Twitter: @ItsMattsLaw
6.
Why is Marjorie Taylor Greene dressed like the road manager for satan’s traveling accordion band? pic.twitter.com/4HHMotOytx
— Renee (@PettyLupone) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @PettyLupone
7.
when you’re in an argument and they’re low key making good points pic.twitter.com/lHvfiQA2rd
— Jessica (Ka) Burbank (@JessicaLBurbank) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @JessicaLBurbank
8.
Does the back of Biden’s blazer have a screen playing Pornhub? pic.twitter.com/8mVe7z6WiM
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @TheDailyShow
9.
Wow. Is that a Subzero refrigerator with matching panels? Opening price point is more than $10,000 before customization. https://t.co/IvtiprL3st
— Jen Taub (@jentaub) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @jentaub
10.
honestly, so real. pic.twitter.com/T99rEFYGNd
— Annie Wu⸆⸉ (all socials: @annie_wu_22) (@Annie_Wu_22) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @Annie_Wu_22
11.
You’re telling me this isn’t an episode of Veep? #SOTU2024 pic.twitter.com/PCL1WpiwiP
— Kelley 🌙 (@kelleymcgrathx) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @kelleymcgrathx
12.
Absolutely nothing creepier than a republican theater kid pic.twitter.com/REp9XMgmug
— GL (@gldivittorio) March 8, 2024
PBS/Twitter: @gldivittorio
13.
This is what the Republican nominee for President is currently doing. pic.twitter.com/fFpS9Ts28O
— chris evans (@notcapnamerica) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @notcapnamerica
14.
men will look at you like this when they lean in to kiss you pic.twitter.com/hYbzQVBzFb
— Joshua Rush (@JoshuaRush) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @JoshuaRush
15.
The drunk uncle trying to vibe with us on the shuttle back from the wedding he wasn’t technically invited to https://t.co/9BG8t8rdeR
— Betches News (@Betches_Sup) March 8, 2024
CSPAN/Twitter: @Betches_Sup
16.
When your son is home checking your browsing history pic.twitter.com/pKLlfk7XR9
— B.W. Carlin (@BaileyCarlin) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @BaileyCarlin
17.
When your face comes up on the Jumbotron pic.twitter.com/A6UJjmMmWP
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) March 8, 2024
MSNBC/Twitter: @TheDailyShow
18.
jessie, i sent the wrong batch to Joe, we got to stop him pic.twitter.com/OuuLvXB0Qz
— Ebolaman (@ebolaman131) March 8, 2024
FX/ Twitter: @ebolaman131
19.
It is so weird that they all dress like Trump now. https://t.co/P6nIxlXhtv
— Tim Miller (@Timodc) March 8, 2024
CNN/Twitter: @Timodc
20.
Me in the audience when Nicole Kidman says “We come to this place for magic” pic.twitter.com/Asn6RXDXJ5
— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) March 8, 2024
MSNBC/Twitter: @ditzkoff
21.
Renewing your wedding vows like pic.twitter.com/jpZryjEuve
— organizermemes (panda era) (@OrganizerMemes) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @OrganizerMemes
22.
when the bar closes but the afters are just starting pic.twitter.com/ewHR93VYDH
— Josh Sorbe (@joshsorbe) March 8, 2024
ABC/Twitter: @joshsorbe
23.
Biden shaking hands after the #SOTU pic.twitter.com/WMoGc9t0Oe
— organizermemes (panda era) (@OrganizerMemes) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @OrganizerMemes
24.
WHERE ARE THE CALLBACKS BEING POSTED??? KATIE IS LIKE FREAKING OUT!!! pic.twitter.com/0S9kiAK4jA
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @michaelianblack
25.
me and my nemesis waiting for some other folks to hop on the zoom pic.twitter.com/WrHwRSHWVG
— Jason Sparks (real) (@sparksjls) March 8, 2024
CNN/Twitter: @sparksjls
26.
when she saw him and he saw her. pic.twitter.com/ANJPmnALK4
— Florida Chris (@chrislongview) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @chrislongview
27.
not sensing a lot of warmth here pic.twitter.com/W47iD7iLs1
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) March 8, 2024
CNN/Twitter: @atrupar
28.
https://t.co/nWRCT4Ooww pic.twitter.com/4OwbR1d40j
— Keith (@nagy_minaj) March 8, 2024
Getty Images/ Twitter: @nagy_minaj
29.
Mike Johnson trying to decide how to respond to critiques of Putin. pic.twitter.com/anC2UcF2hn
— Tim Miller (@Timodc) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @Timodc
30.
When HR gets added to the calendar invite pic.twitter.com/uHAhusqgyA
— The Random Recruiter (@randomrecruiter) March 8, 2024
CNN/Twitter: @randomrecruiter
31.
absolutely bonkers outfit. no notes. https://t.co/rZlNOp5ONS
— Paul McCallion (@OrangePaulp) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @OrangePaulp
32.
Obsessed with the way she’s whispering as if this isn’t even her house. She just broke into someone’s kitchen and started hissing about Chinapic.twitter.com/dGxYGRRDWx
— Vinny Thomas (@vinn_ayy) March 8, 2024
CNN/Twitter: @vinn_ayy
33.
Is Sheila Jackson Lee wearing a RING POP? pic.twitter.com/hsc0oZWCMB
— Noah Mitchell (@noahmtweets) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @noahmtweets
34.
Relatable. https://t.co/DoLkHqLh8e
— Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett (@RepJasmine) March 8, 2024
CNN/Twitter: @RepJasmine
35. And lastly…
Ok but actually me at every party I’ve ever been to pic.twitter.com/vx44ZpUKS7
— Amanda Ach (@amandaach) March 8, 2024
Twitter: @amandaach
