“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.” – Lyndon B. Johnson
As a public service to all readers, remember to close your windows on Monday night. As I have written before, like it or not, there is nothing quite like Lag Ba’omer in Israel.
I remember growing up in Seattle when Lag Ba’omer fell on a school day, and we would play sports while the school provided hot dogs and cans of pop. That was it.
In Israel, it means that you’d better close your windows because of the bonfires. Then there is the insanity of 13- and 14-year-olds being in charge of 10- and 12-year-olds, all surrounded by raging bonfires. We should all hope and pray that the Lag Ba’omer celebrations are safe and pass without incident.
As we move through the meaningful stretch of the Jewish calendar that includes Second Passover (Pesach Sheni), Lag Ba’omer, and the start of the wedding season, there is a powerful framework for newly married couples as they begin their shared financial life.
Marriage is not just the merging of two individuals; it is the merging of two financial identities. Two different upbringings, attitudes toward money, and a general money culture now need to coexist. Whether that becomes a source of tension or strength depends largely on how intentionally couples approach it.
Build a shared plan.
Pesach Sheni provides the first lesson: It’s never too late to get it right. The Torah (Bamidbar 9:6-11) describes individuals who were unable to bring the Pesach sacrifice at its proper time and approached Moshe asking, “Why should we be left out?” In response, they were given a second opportunity one month later. The Talmud codifies this concept (Pesachim 93a), and the broader message is clear: Missed opportunities are not permanent failures. Sometimes we get a second chance.
For newlyweds, this is enormously relevant. Rarely do two people enter a marriage with perfectly aligned financial histories. One may bring debt, the other savings. One may have been disciplined, the other less so. The mistake many couples make is allowing past financial decisions to define future dynamics.
Pesach Sheni argues the opposite. Your financial past is not your financial destiny. The key is not where you start, but whether you are willing to reset together. Early in marriage, couples should take inventory – not just of assets and liabilities, but also habits. What are your spending triggers? How do you view risk? What does financial security mean to each of you? This process is not about judgment; it’s about clarity. And clarity creates the possibility of change.
From there, the lesson becomes practical: Build a shared plan. That means creating a realistic budget, setting priorities, and agreeing on a strategy for saving and investing. But just as important, it means accepting that mistakes will happen – and committing to fixing them together rather than assigning blame.
Then comes Lag Ba’omer, which introduces a second critical dimension: unity.
Lag Ba’omer marks a break in the mourning period connected to the students of Rabbi Akiva, who failed to treat one another with proper respect, according to the Talmud. A lack of respect destroys even the most promising foundations. After all, it was Rabbi Akiva who said: “This is a great principle of the Torah: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself [Vayikra 19:18].’”
Financially, this is where many couples struggle. Money disagreements are rarely about numbers. They are about values, control, fear, and communication. One spouse may prioritize saving, while the other experiences money as a tool for enjoying life. One may be comfortable with investment risk; the other may equate risk with instability.
Lag Ba’omer teaches that success comes from respect and alignment, not uniformity. Couples do not need identical financial personalities; they need shared goals. Define what you are working toward: buying a home, building long-term wealth, achieving financial independence, or supporting the family. Once those goals are clear, decisions become less personal and more purposeful.
Respect also means listening. If one spouse is anxious about investing, dismissing that fear will only deepen the divide. Instead, address it. Educate, compromise, and create a plan that both partners can live with.
Finally, the wedding season itself delivers the third lesson. A wedding is a moment of inspiration, but it is also the starting point of a system. The habits formed in the first year of marriage often persist for decades.
Decide how finances will be managed. Will accounts be fully merged or partially separate? Who tracks expenses? How are major decisions made? Transparency is equally critical. Hidden debts, undisclosed spending, or financial secrecy undermine the very partnership that marriage is meant to create.
There is also a broader lesson that connects all three elements of this season: patience. Just as we are counting the Omer day by day, financial growth is incremental. There are no shortcuts. Wealth is built through consistency, saving regularly, investing wisely, and allowing time to do its work.
Newlyweds often feel pressure to accelerate, to buy, upgrade, and match perceived lifestyles. But the most successful couples are those who balance present enjoyment with future stability. They spend intentionally, not impulsively.
Pesach Sheni teaches resilience, the ability to recover and move forward. Lag Ba’omer teaches unity, the necessity of respect, and shared purpose. These lessons are the cornerstone of a successful marriage.
The information contained in this article reflects the opinion of the author and not necessarily the opinion of Portfolio Resources Group, Inc. or its affiliates.
aaron@lighthousecapital.co.il
Aaron Katsman is the author of Retirement GPS: How to Navigate Your Way to A Secure Financial Future with Global Investing.
Source:
www.jpost.com
